I asked my friends of Facebook this question yesterday. These are the responses I received. Some were serious others weren't really but they wouldn't be my friends if the didn't joke around on my posts every now and again. For privacy reasons there pictures were removed as well as their last names. :)
What would happen in your perfect world?
I deleted mine out because I'm actually going to talk about it :)
Q:"What would happen in your perfect world?"
A: No one would have to feel the pain of loss.
My meaning?
I wish no one ever had to know what it feels like to lose someone they love. such as a child, a parent, a grandparent, a sibling, a significant other, etc. I know thats asking a bit much. Its like wishing for eternal life. I guess I should better explain what i mean. I understand that people die. You're born, you live, you die. What bothers me is when people die before they've had a chance to live. No parent should ever know what it feels like to lose their child. When I was younger I just always had it in my head that only the elderly die. I learned at a young age that I can't attend funerals.
I was 7 when I went to my first funeral. It was my Great-grandma "Mom-Mom". Me and my brothers were always around her, from what i remember, until we moved. I don't remember much from the funeral. I remember an open casket, going to see her, giving her a flower, and sitting down. I remember not crying at all during the service but looking up at my Grandpa Jim (her husband) and he was crying. I cant even remember if i understood at that point why he was crying. After the service they had the family in the hallway as everyone was leaving. Mom-Mom left first....thats when I remember losing it. I watched them close her casket and then watched as they carried her away. After she was taken out all the guests gave the family members their condolences. I can remember all these women I had never met before coming up to me and giving me giant hugs. All they saw was this little 7 year old weeping because she had lost her "Mom-Mom". From what I do remember my mom was standing next to me, the whole time. After the ladies would hug me they would go to my mom. I cant remember where either of my brothers were at this point. My dad wasn't there at all. He had taken time off to go see her before she passed. so he couldn't get the extra time off to go to the funeral.
About a year and a half later, I was 9, I went to Grandpa Jims funeral. I remember the whole family was there for that one. I remember meeting one of grandpa jims daughters. Thats about it. Prior to leaving to go to the funeral I remember being so upset with my parents. Where I'm from when you reach the end of 3rd grade we had this huge field day, It was supposedly a lot of fun. I was mad because I didnt get to go. Now, looking back I see that it was pointless to be mad about and it was really selfish. I don't know why I don't remember his funeral. I have no idea if I just blocked it or what.
I've had 2 family members die since then. I dont know what their funerals were like....I didnt go. I can't handle them emotionally. idk about physically...i havent been to one to learn. I had an "excuse" for one. Is that even okay to say? I had an "excuse" to not go remember the life of a loved one? Well....the "excuse" I had was, "I have cheer try-outs that week and I can't miss it". My other great-grandmas death was in April of my junior year of high school so 2009. We called her "Grandie". I now wish I would've gone to where the funeral was and at least been there with my family. Like stayed at the house while they went to the service?
The other one was my Grandpa. My moms, dad. He was still young as I see it. 60 something. I believe that is young for people to die now-a-days. I think I regret not going to that funeral more than than the other. He passed away November 3, 2008. I remember the date perfectly. I've learned to laugh about some things about my grandpas life. My grandpa was a very racist man from what I remember and what I'm told. Honestly, If he had voted (which he didnt) he wouldnt have voted for Obama. I joke with my mom and tell her "You know grandpa would say 'I'll die before a black man becomes president'" Election Day for president in 2008 was November 4th. Its one thing that just sorta makes up laugh about while remembering him.
I know this strayed a bit from what I started with.....but I wanted to explain that. I posted that question because Johnny, my boyfriend, his grandpa passed away 2 days ago. Its the first person he's ever lost and I couldnt even be with him to try to make him feel better. We're 2000 miles apart and its rather difficult to console over the phone. I just wish things were different when it came to death.
I'm getting a tribute tattoo. When I redraw it out the notes on the side will be to a different song but everything else will be the same. The 4 notes in the middle are for the people I've lost. The connected for Mom-Mom and Grandpa Jim, the 1/2 note for Grandie, and the 8th note for my Grandpa Trauthwein.
Later days
